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Poshua: I am special
Poshua: Regis Philbin's recorded voice told me so
Rating (3.2) /Comments (18)
chiIled: Other Posts You May Like

* Naked Pizza Delivery (NSFW)
* Guinness World Records - Worst mouse plague ever
* Prague’s Franz Kafka named worst airport in the world
* Lucky takes off her jean jacket
* Police brutality at a council meeting
Rating (1.5) /Comments (0)
counter23feit: i don't think anyone knows me as well as my youtube recommendations
Rating (4) /Comments (1)
counter23feit: this weekend my cousin's 6-year-old son was making fun of me for not having written a book yet
counter23feit: so i took him outside to play basketball and blocked a bunch of his shots to make myself feel better
Rating (4.33) /Comments (0)
AmericanQuixote: To be fair, I don't know if those are discrete economic entities
[PAUSE]
AmericanQuixote: entities
AmericanQuixote: it has the word 'tities' in it
Rating (3.5) /Comments (3)
hangwidave: It's weird
hangwidave: the more I read about other races the more I hate them
Rating (3) /Comments (2)
Guess the context, Round 6
chiIled: it's like white uganda
Rating (3) /Comments (5)
xweetdreamz 666: i once deleted all evidence of an ex from my gmail archive
xweetdreamz 666: i am a slash and burn type of serial monogamist
Rating (2.75) /Comments (0)
TunnelArmr: hey I need your help
counter23feit: (reaching for bulletproof vest)
TunnelArmr: identifying music that sounds like it's from a video game
TunnelArmr: but I can't remember which one
counter23feit: (sadly putting bulletproof vest back in file cabinet beneath spare mousepad)
Rating (4.5) /Comments (0)
clairecalz: i dont think there has ever been a time when i was awake and you weren't awake
clairecalz: you're like my grandmother
Rating (2.5) /Comments (0)
gorgeousmayday: i took a break from painting a robot to paint a panda
gorgeousmayday: and then i realized my life didn't turn out the way i had expected
Rating (4) /Comments (4)
AmericanQuixote: a good rule of thumb: no more than three angels on your rap album cover
Rating (3) /Comments (0)
counter23feit: wow you know what's depressing
counter23feit: street view in new orleans
Rating (3) /Comments (0)
TunnelArmr: John Tesh has an album called Sax On The Beach
counter23feit: that is the Teshest possible double entendre
Rating (2) /Comments (0)
counter23feit: if you search youtube for 9/11 and sort by view count, the #1 video is still rick astley
Rating (4) /Comments (0)
TunnelArmr: which movie character is sarah palin most like?
counter23feit: babe, pig in the city
Rating (4.67) /Comments (0)
TunnelArmr: it says "how to hypnotize a man" and then is just a picture of a woman's ass
AmericanQuixote: I hope you snopes.com-ed it
AmericanQuixote: you can never trust chain emails
Rating (4) /Comments (0)
counter23feit: i don't trust women's investigative ability with regard to porn
counter23feit: it's like asking your mom to describe a video game to you
Rating (3.4) /Comments (0)
counter23feit: i think india has the highest ratio of "horribleness" to "white people i know going there on vacation"
Rating (3) /Comments (2)
gorgeousmayday: i will murder my own fetus for a burrito right now
Rating (2) /Comments (0)
AmericanQuixote: Are you going to turn into some weird Howard Hughes-style nutcase? Because it sounded to me like you just said you think there is a loophole that will get you into heaven by storing your semen in the freezer.
Rating (4) /Comments (1)
AmericanQuixote: Dude
AmericanQuixote: if I die without riding a jetski in a tuxedo
AmericanQuixote: i don't think I will have truly lived
Rating (4.33) /Comments (0)
AmericanQuixote: I wonder if the high five was invented on the day that early man discovered he had driven neanderthals to extinction
Rating (4) /Comments (0)
AmericanQuixote: Is it racist to think that black people remind me of african animals
Rating (3.5) /Comments (5)
chiIled: i dont think any link better sums up the dark side of internet culture than this one
chiIled: a link to a youtube video
chiIled: "Brother and sister fight with nipple slip (1:40)"
Rating (4) /Comments (1)
Oroko Saki 69: i applied to be a mall santa claus today
Oroko Saki 69: depending on how you look at it, it could be the lowest point in my life, or the highlight
Rating (2.5) /Comments (1)
The night before the 2008 election:
counter23feit: i feel like it's christmas eve, except there's a small possibility that when i unwrap my presents in the morning, it could be a creationist science textbook
Rating (4.5) /Comments (0)
gorgeousmayday: what i'm trying to say is
gorgeousmayday: I want hitler to be my new BFF
Rating (2.75) /Comments (0)
counter23feit: if you were black and invented a time machine
counter23feit: you pretty much couldn't risk going anywhere in the US or Europe before the mid-19th century
counter23feit: and even if you went before colonial times the indigenous people would just think you were some kind of demon
counter23feit: in conclusion, i would say that it is unlikely that a black person will invent a time machine
Rating (4.6) /Comments (5)
AmericanQuixote: I had to kill a mouse this morning
AmericanQuixote: I put it in a bag and beat it to death with a beer bottle
AmericanQuixote: it was a metaphor for life
Rating (4.17) /Comments (0)
Guess the context, Round 5
counter23feit: if i had to rank them it would be
counter23feit: 1) bangladesh, 2) jousting, 3) hijackers, 4) rape, 5) iceberg
Rating (3.75) /Comments (9)
eleni: i think we're going to the burlington hotel in november
TunnelArmr: to honor america's veterans?
eleni: nah to drink
Rating (3) /Comments (0)
counter23feit: do you think it would be possible to market preston in gay porn as "the Sun Bear of the Sierra Nevadas"
Rating (4) /Comments (2)
counter23feit: i'm going to see how many times i have to vote to bump your score up .01
counter23feit: wait, i can only vote once?
counter23feit: WHAT KIND OF SYSTEM IS THIS?
Rating (3.8) /Comments (0)
counter23feit: i would rather have a president who had committed voluntary manslaughter like Nicolas Cage in Con Air than a Mormon president
Rating (3) /Comments (2)
"If you go to the beach and there are little kids running around naked and you film them and put it on the internet, is that illegal?" -My Brother
Rating (4.5) /Comments (1)
gorgeousmayday: I'm going to file all this under vaginas: unpleasant appearance of, shallowness of, and lack of.
Rating (3) /Comments (0)
On Japan:
AmericanQuixote: Dude, for a country that is all about respect and saving face and killing yourself if you are publicly humiliated
AmericanQuixote: they will do ANYTHING on TV
Rating (4.67) /Comments (0)
hangwidave: that's really a rap faux pas
hangwidave: as was pointed out when guys on our team would try to freestyle
hangwidave: and one guy went down the dangerous road of trying to rhyme something with Texas
hangwidave: it's doable, but you have to be quick on your feet
hangwidave: he wasn't
hangwidave: doubled up on the Texas
hangwidave: and has never lived it down
hangwidave: his blackness was downgraded
Rating (3.6) /Comments (6)
gorgeousmayday: I didn't even know Rape Organizer was a job
gorgeousmayday: I am so behind on this year's gay trends
Rating (3.25) /Comments (1)
TunnelArmr: how do you feel about a restaurant called "You Got Served" where the waitstaff breakdances your food to you
gorgeousmayday: sounds messy, and extremely fly
Rating (4.33) /Comments (0)
gorgeousmayday: I bet your version of heaven is a nickel arcade patronized by people and animals you've seen on the internet
Rating (3.5) /Comments (0)
sanfrankam: do you know the reason i want to come to your wedding, noah?
sanfrankam: because you will publicly express emotions that are not sarcasm
Rating (4.5) /Comments (1)
TunnelArmr: so just to clarify
TunnelArmr: you want to go to massachusetts to get gay-married
TunnelArmr: and then on the way back from our wedding
TunnelArmr: make a pit stop in a second state
TunnelArmr: just to fuck in front of that state's governor?
AmericanQuixote: Well, maybe I don't want to do that, but I wouldn't say no either
Rating (4.5) /Comments (0)
counter23feit: wedding photographer:photographer::Happy Meal toy designer:sculptor
Rating (3.75) /Comments (0)
chiIled: this quiznos sandwich is so NOT toasted that i am outraged!
Rating (3.86) /Comments (2)
counter23feit: how many hookers do you think senators have killed over the course of america's history?
counter23feit: i bet it's more than 5
Rating (4.33) /Comments (4)
Poshua: I think the two best things that people have said to me when urging me to consider renting in the marginal gentrifying neighborhoods where they live are
Poshua: "I'm seeing a lot fewer used condoms on the sidewalks than I did when I moved here four years ago."
Poshua: "There have been a couple of shootings, but they're all gang-related, and I'm not in a gang."
Rating (4) /Comments (0)
gorgeousmayday: abortions mean more video games for me!
Rating (3) /Comments (1)
counter23feit: pretty much everyone who has worked for more than a year as a nurse/emt/doctor has seen at least one sandwich/burrito/roll of oreos lodged in a fold somewhere
Rating (3) /Comments (0)
AmericanQuixote: People who think dogfighting is inherently awesome really are discriminated against in this country
AmericanQuixote: we need to rally the silent majority
Rating (2.67) /Comments (2)
espank9: when I was walking through a Ralph's a few months back, searching for stool softeners, that's when I realized that my youth was over
Rating (3) /Comments (0)
counter23feit: i got one of these yesterday
counter23feit: http://www.backyardcitypools.com/Images/BWP/NT257-Shock-Rocker-Float.jpg
counter23feit: it really only fits one other person
counter23feit: but there's plenty of room for a cooler of beer and a bunch of waterproof dildos
Rating (2.67) /Comments (0)
AmericanQuixote: We are pretty hard on atomic bombs
AmericanQuixote: considering we've only USED two to kill people
AmericanQuixote: out of the thousands we made!
AmericanQuixote: It's like, get off our back, already!
Rating (2.88) /Comments (1)
TunnelArmr: global supply chains are amazing
TunnelArmr: most of the fish we catch gets shipped all the way to china to be processed and packaged and then shipped all the way back
TunnelArmr: that can't possibly be efficient...BUT IT IS!!!!!
gorgeousmayday: you need more hobbies, besides the internet
Rating (2.33) /Comments (0)
TunnelArmr: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/05/31/AR2008053100972.html?hpid=topnews
TunnelArmr: it's an article about black people in utah
timsl17: this is good for idaho
timsl17: it's like finding an uglier girl to stand near to make us look better
Rating (3.5) /Comments (0)
TunnelArmr: http://www.aclu.org/pizza/
AmericanQuixote: Dude
AmericanQuixote: When your dystopia is based on expensive pizza you need to think again
Rating (3.5) /Comments (0)
gorgeousmayday: a few months ago, all of the regular employees here had to take a company-mandated sexual harassment seminar
gorgeousmayday: shortly after that, all of the spread-eagle furry figurines disappeared from my coworker's desk
gorgeousmayday: coincidence?
Rating (3) /Comments (0)
counter23feit: when it comes to this issue dave's house is made of so much glass that the T-1000 just rode a motorcycle through it
Rating (3.2) /Comments (1)
timsl17: think i saw that on the news the other day when i accidentally watched the news
Rating (4.25) /Comments (1)
counter23feit: i just came across someone's application that got routed to another department and the feedback from the hiring manager was just "lol"
Rating (4.4) /Comments (0)
gorgeousmayday: I was scarred by a Shark Bites commercial
gorgeousmayday: I couldn't go swimming in a pool by myself after I saw it
gorgeousmayday: to this day I'm not sure I could do it
Rating (4) /Comments (0)
TunnelArmr: maybe I can raise my kid as a roomba
gorgeousmayday: who says you can't?
gorgeousmayday: i mean, other than numerous government agencies
Rating (2.67) /Comments (0)
AmericanQuixote: He has this super murky past that I know nearly nothing about.
TunnelArmr: do you think he was in porn?
AmericanQuixote: Dude, he could have been like a special ops guy who was horrified by the atrocities during the invasion of panama and then found god and totally dropped off the grid to form a new identity
AmericanQuixote: Actually, now that I think about it, I'm sure that's it.
Rating (3.33) /Comments (0)
gorgeousmayday: there's no such thing as half black
gorgeousmayday: as I've learned from daytime talk shows, "one drop makes you whole"
Rating (3.33) /Comments (0)
Poshua: I didn't get good image search results for "gimp mask"
Poshua: then I realized that moderate safe search was on
Rating (4.5) /Comments (0)
chicajlp: my mom is always stunned that you don't have a girlfriend, she thinks you're just this cute nice guy
chicajlp: and i don't have the heart to show her the links you send me
Rating (3.67) /Comments (0)
Poshua: I want to start a japanese-style creperie called Crepe of Nanking
Rating (4.56) /Comments (0)
chiIled: i was wondering why you were sending me so many texts
chiIled: then i realized that i wasn't online
chiIled: its like the highway to my brain was down and you were taking surface streets
Rating (3.33) /Comments (0)
AmericanQuixote: I told that story about Ken to Kambria recently
TunnelArmr: so?
AmericanQuixote: It's a great story
[2 Minutes Of Silence]
AmericanQuixote: And then I shot the moon with a huge gun
Rating (2.57) /Comments (0)
TunnelArmr: you can write a bio for yourself if you want
gorgeousmayday: i was kinda planning on just taking some info about poison snakes and replacing "snake" with "dana"
Rating (4) /Comments (0)
counter23feit: how hard do you think it would be to convince daisy that black people had no fingerprints?
Rating (4.25) /Comments (0)
chiIled: dude that is how foods work
chiIled: foods that are intentionally crusted are fucking bomb
chiIled: but remember to steer clear of foods that are unintentionally crusted
Rating (3.5) /Comments (0)
TunnelArmr: an indian friend of mine posted pictures from an indian wedding in palm springs where the bride was carried in on an elephant
TunnelArmr: how does one go about getting an elephant for private use?
gorgeousmayday: if old cartoons have taught me anything, a trail of well-placed peanuts
Rating (4) /Comments (0)
counter23feit: i'm making a list of things i love
counter23feit: like when someone's behind you in line at the supermarket and the items he's purchasing speak such volumes about his life that you feel like you know him intimately
counter23feit: or when you've been in the ocean all day and you lie in bed at night and you can still feel the pull of the current tugging at your legs
TunnelArmr: well, this list really got gay in a hurry
counter23feit: or, uh, fucking women
Rating (4.83) /Comments (0)
counter23feit: my friend just texted me saying that he is on the haunted mansion ride at Disneyland and Snoop Dogg is there complaining to the attendant about how long it's taking to start the ride
Rating (4) /Comments (0)
chicajlp: 1400 on your SATs gets you into stanford
TunnelArmr: it does?
chicajlp: yeah, you say "look! a 1400! from a MEXICAN!"
TunnelArmr: oh, right
TunnelArmr: I hear the test is "culturally biased" anyway
TunnelArmr: (because mexicans don't use words or numbers?)
chicajlp: dude, XIV is a number
Rating (4.5) /Comments (0)
TunnelArmr: http://revver.com/video/209771/homeless-james-bond/
counter23feit: the chance that i would click on a link with "homeless james bond" in it is about as certain as the sun coming up tomorrow
Rating (4) /Comments (0)
Poshua: it is a pet peeve of mine when people use the abbreviations EST and PST when we are, in fact, on daylight savings time
Poshua: I am back from my five month break from being annoyed about this
Rating (4.67) /Comments (0)
chicajlp: if i had a penis, and i was kind of a slut, i would let you suck on it
chicajlp: ok, i would beg and plead for you to suck it, plus offer to do the dishes for a week
Rating (4) /Comments (0)
chicajlp: why did dan put his name as daniel?
chicajlp: that's so gay
TunnelArmr: what does that say about you, if you're marrying him?
chicajlp: that i am a dude
chicajlp: a gay one
Rating (3) /Comments (0)
On George W. Bush:
espank9: he is the Jimmy Fallon of the American Presidency
Rating (4.2) /Comments (0)
AmericanQuixote: I think you have a debate moderator instead of a conscience.
Rating (4.4) /Comments (1)
chicajlp: one of the top 25 netflix movies for sunnyvale, california is called helvetica, which is a documentary about the font
chicajlp: so i'm thinking about moving
Rating (3.25) /Comments (4)
AmericanQuixote: here are the following states I say fuck you to:
AmericanQuixote: Iowa, New Hampshire, Vermont, New Hampshire again, Rhode Island, and saving the best for last, DELAWARE.
Rating (4) /Comments (0)
espank9: turok?
espank9: i hated that game
espank9: it was like the oregon trail shooting game for 3 hours
Rating (3) /Comments (3)
chiIled: i want a coffin that says BRB
Rating (4) /Comments (0)
chiIled: oh man
chiIled: searching youtube for "gone wrong" is great
Rating (4) /Comments (0)
TunnelArmr: do you watch lost?
TunnelArmr: it just occurred to me that one of the characters looks like a thin tim russert
Poshua: I don't think you can have a thin tim russert
Poshua: I think fatness is part of the essence of russert
Rating (4) /Comments (2)
chiIled: dude the japanese call america beikoku
chiIled: which means riceland
chiIled: talk about backwards!!
Rating (3.5) /Comments (0)
chiIled: overheard in line at the element lounge on saturday: "BITCH, I'M FROM EAST OAKLAND, NIGGA"
chiIled: nicely bookended
Rating (4) /Comments (0)
After the death of Heath Ledger:
chiIled: i ate at specialtys today
chiIled: and ordered a hot australian sandwich
chiIled: in memoriam
Rating (3.75) /Comments (0)
atribecalledsean: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=510172&in_page_id=1774
atribecalledsean: oh yeah, that looks like it should work perfectly, and definitely won't be featured in the "Absurd Technological Failures of 2008" article in the February, 2050 issue of Time Magazine.
Rating (3.6) /Comments (0)
AmericanQuixote: Nothing like driving drunk from SJ to SF on Christmas day, and then teasing tigers!
AmericanQuixote: Let's make that our tradition.
Rating (2) /Comments (0)
hangwidave: fun story
hangwidave: my 5th grade football team lost to the deaf middle school back home
hangwidave: and I have never lived down that deaf loss with my brother
hangwidave: like, he'll introduce me to friends and be like "Hey this is my little brother. He lost to the deaf school in football"
Rating (4.6) /Comments (0)
chicajlp: you know, sometimes you could say hi or something
chicajlp: instead of talking entirely in links
Rating (3.4) /Comments (0)

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