Profile Quotes

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By Popular Demand... Away Messages and Profile Quotes
(In Reverse Chronological Order)

Chronological | Alphabetical By Screen Name | By Rating | Cast Of Characters

		acbaker623 doesn't have a bio yet.

		adreatiq is stalking shaemaureslt from her dorm room at Northwestern University.

		almightygad is a pirate.

		alo683 doesn't have a bio yet.

		AmericanQuixote is an idiot. He will be spending next year on a fishing boat, getting experience for a career in fisheries management. He wears Old Spice Fresh deodorant. He heard about this Japanese reality show that takes young children far away, tells them their parents are sick, and makes them find their way back home. His first thought was, "I should become a superhero and go there to give to each child directions how to get home and also taxi fare." Then the evil producers would be like, "Who is that masked man who is foiling our plans?"

		atribecalledsean doesn't have a bio yet.

		AznSunRiZE doesn't have a bio yet.

		cdb983 is watching you right now.

		chicajlp is not zesty.

		chiIled was born in 1969 from a square egg that came out of a gay dude's butt. He was tragically blinded at birth when the hot California air pierced his colorful but sensitive beak. Today he collects sunglasses and lives in Chillicothe, Illinois where he studies contemporary jazz flute. One time he drank so much milk that he fucked a duck. Bonus fun fact: if you jam a papaya in your ass you can jump all the way to the moon!

		clairecalz doesn't have a bio yet.

		counter23feit was conceived, born, and educated in a grain silo outside Sacramento. At the age of twenty, he was involved in an unfortunate intramural softball accident that left him unable to feel human emotions except toward nutritional supplements and other people's dogs.

		crazyborachos13 can be summed up in two words: humbio whore.

		d2rmbtb is flashing a gang sign.

		Dazedy84 doesn't have a bio yet.

		DRBMAGIC1 doesn't have a bio yet.

		Drlng Crlng is Carling and was named after the tennis player, not the beer. Although some drunk guys in London thought it was hilarious to repeatedly tell me that they had me last night and I tasted wonderful. The sun, awesome friends, Texas, tennis, country music, any type of music really, hot boys, sappy chick flicks, and gummi bears, especially chocolate covered ones, all make her deliriously happy, but not necessarily in that order. That's basically it. Oh yeah, come and visit her in Durand. She lives in a little box with the Hulk. But they're cute, so whatever.

		eleni doesn't have a bio yet.

		espank9 is hard at work writing the next Arli$$.

		glennjaminnian is Glennford Bean, Esq. and is from Fresno. He likes eating food and offering people drinks immediately and frequently. He has a bittersweet mix of pride and embarrassment that his greatest collegiate accomplishment is a dodgeball IM championship. He washes his truck often and tries to find a way to put raisins in every dish.

		gorgeousmayday doesn't have a bio yet.

		hangwidave is very large.

		Iceman7733 doesn't have a bio yet.

		Jackankath doesn't have a bio yet.

		JakeV is related, allegedly, to tunnelarmr and joshbv. If he's not, someone better have a damn good excuse for forcing him to spend so much time with them. Jake spent most of his childhood irreparably damaging Noah's hairline with a Lady Bic razor and trying to convince his parents to name Noah "Drano". Though unsuccessful, Jake can console himself by knowing that he is bigger than you, smarter than you, makes more money than you, and knows fewer state capitals than you (learning state capitals is for pussies). That is, unless you happen to be ex-treasury undersecretary Paul Volcker, who is 6'7 and remains steadfast in his belief that Portland is the capital of Oregon. The second most offensive thing Jake ever said was that if he ever knocked someone up, he'd show them a sex toy called "the coat hanger" (to be followed shortly thereafter by a new sexual position called the "fall down a flight of stairs"). Jake can't repeat the most offensive thing he ever said. Seriously. If you want a hint, it involves the Holocaust. Although the brothers no longer wrestle together under the name The Natural Disasters due to injuries sustained when Josh attempted to have sex with his stock options, they continue to have the highest combined IQ and weight of any three brothers since Groucho, Harpo, and Karl Marx. They also have a cotton candy machine in their house. I, for one, welcome our new [name deleted] overlords.

		jen one45 is a motherfuckin' newsie.

		JettaGirlP is so hot right now.

		joshbv doesn't have a bio yet.

		KaraMelinda doesn't have a bio yet.

		KarnigP doesn't have a bio yet.

		ken is a cs nerd is skinnypuppy520 with a more descriptive screen name.

		kik i t krazy doesn't have a bio yet.

		KiyreEatsTrees doesn't have a bio yet.

		LiNDS10000 is reading your facebook profile right now.

		mindymunki thinks I'm creepy.

		missbishop is xweetdreamz 666 with more formality and less devil-worshipping.

		MistressBleeg doesn't have a bio yet.

		mjorganism is DJ with a uterus.

		momo in lab is mjorganism with a test tube.

		Muffin3910 doesn't have a bio yet.

		nashavirata doesn't have a bio yet.

		Oroko Saki 69 is Mrs. Skells528.

		pajamest once thought it would be a good idea to date AmericanQuixote. but then, they were walking through a very busy scene of striped umbrellas and she had to spend the next 20 minutes scouring the page for him.

		ParysLu probably hates me.

		Poshua is Josh, a senior at Harvard and roommates with Noah's high school friend AmericanQuixote. Several independent observers who know both parties have alleged that Josh and Noah have the same personality; that is, they think they're incredibly clever and most other people think they're pricks. They also share the view that vaginas are ghastly. Unlike Noah, Josh does not have a crush on Bob Costas.

		quapakelli doesn't have a bio yet.

		Rakshasa1O doesn't have a bio yet.

		RK1000 doesn't have a bio yet.

		sanfrankam doesn't have a bio yet.

		sarah70783 is my share-William (and also my share-Natalie).

		shaemaureslt is Vegetable Man.

		ShoguNate2 graduated from Ninja College, Class of '01, with a major in Kung Fu and a minor in Blaxploitation. He is currently enrolled at Yale University, using his aforementioned ninja skills to "stick it to the Man." He Enjoys movies based on Elmore Leonard novels, writing mediocore screenplays, and shoving a bowstaff into your trachea.

		skells528 is also known as Jennifer Walters. Keep that on the down-low, it's not exactly street legal. In human form she resides in Oroko Saki 69's apartment. When she is angry, which is pretty much always, she goes into Hulk form. That's why she is ginormous. People say that she is delusional, that she does not actually have super powers and that she is small. Don't believe them. Just look at her facebook picture. She's huge. In fact, if you looked up ginormous in a standard dictionary, you would see her picture next to it.

		skinnypuppy520 doesn't have a bio yet.

		syyd67 doesn't have a bio yet.

		timsl17 doesn't have a bio yet.

		TolRosebud doesn't have a bio yet.

		TunnelArmr doesn't have a bio yet.

		ucsbgirly12 doesn't have a bio yet.

		xweetdreamz 666 doesn't have a bio yet.

		xxspinnakerxx is Preston. He used to drive a Volkswagen hatchback, which was the largest auto that he could afford. Even the very tall need to drive automobiles. Does that mean that he should be made the subject of fun?